In the NOT Midwinter…

WINTER CLOTHES

by Karla Kushkin

Under my hood I have a hat
And under that
My hair is flat.
     Under my coat
My sweater’s blue,
My sweater’s red.
I’m wearing two.
     My muffler muffles to my chin
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And then tucks in.
     My gloves were knitted
By my aunts.
I’ve mittens too
And pants
And pants
And boots
And shoes
With socks inside.
     The boots are rubber, red and wide.
And when I walk
I must not fall
Because I can’t get up at all.

And every word of this poem is true. Except the part about the aunts. Neither of us have knitting aunts.

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Glasgow is still bound up in a misery of ice and rain. We have new spikes for our boots, since D. managed to actually stomp the ones on his heels flat, which tells us a few things about the way he walks(!). While we wait for the plumber people to take apart the bathroom (and listen to the truly horrific waterfall running in our neighbor’s house – the firemen only turned off ONE valve; the flat is ruined), we are running the heat and doing laundry in hopes that things will actually DRY at some point – the rugs so far have not.

It’s hard to believe that already we’re deep into it messy winter, and officially, it only started on Solstice, which was a little over a week ago! But, no matter. We still have nice memories from our time away to think on, which will keep us going.


Unlike in the U.S., where Christmas Eve affords many a half-day off, and workers are often back to the office the day following, in Iceland, that’s not the case. Every year, Iceland has jólabókaflóðið, or “the Christmas book flood,” which is the frantic flooding of the market with book releases just before the holiday. Books are the Numero Uno gift to give and receive on Christmas, as Iceland sells the greatest number of books per capita of any nation in the world. (Yeah. T. was struck speechless by the awesomeness of that for several long seconds.) Books are talked about on the news, and the awards buzz — and the “this book is going to flop” buzz — is huge. Thus, while Christmas Eve is the time to open those books, Christmas Day and the day following? Are for reading those books, preferably in bed, while eating filled chocolates. At all the parties in the days following, books are the primary topic of conversation – what everyone got, if they’re any good, etc. etc. etc.

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This is no guidebook exaggeration. Many people mentioned to us what they’d be doing on Christmas. Aside from attending a church service, most of the weekend was for reading. (Awesome, huh?)

So, the city was empty and quiet, with a light rain misting down. We had a lovely time window-shopping, walking from the old city to the downtown area, and winding through the streets. Reykjavik is a strangely artsy city, so there was a lot to look at.

On Christmas Day we attended a church service at Hallgrímskirkja, which was amusing – since it was an Anglican service given in a Lutheran Church in English by an Icelandic reverend. Contradictions abounded! As did tourists – it never ceases to amaze us how people visiting churches feel they can simply stride into a church mid-service, stand in a pew, take pictures of themselves and their surroundings, and walk out again. We were worried that the people were Americans. Fortunately, they were German, and we could hold our fellow countrymen innocent of that particular obnoxiousness, at least.

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It’s easy to dissect the name – it’s Hallgrím’s kirkja — Hallgrím’s church. It’s named after Hallgrímur Pétursson, who is apparently a really famous Icelandic poet. He wrote a series of fifty Easter poems, one of which is read aloud per day on Icelandic public radio, beginning ten days before Lent. They’re very well-loved, our tour guide told us, but it’s a rare person outside of Iceland who has ever heard of him. (Rejoice: you have now ascended the ranks of rare persons!)

We were two of about eighteen people at church on Christmas. While we felt a little silly at such a sparsely attended service (the person who led the carols beamed and nodded at us after the service – apparently we were the only ones singing, and she could hear us allll the way in the front. Yikes.), we were glad to finally make a visit to Hallgrímskirkja – the inside of the church is just gorgeous. We’d heard from various tour guides about the state architect of the last thirty-some years, Guðjón Samúelsson, and how it took them about thirty-eight years to actually finish the structure (1945-1986). He did an amazing job of making the church interior look like … an ice cave. No, really, that’s what it’s supposed to look like.

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What was more intriguing to us was the organ. It looked innocuous enough, just sitting on the floor in the back of the sanctuary, but it has a whopping 5,275 pipes. (And 72 stops, but we don’t know if that’s particularly impressive, since we don’t play.) It has a massive, blow-out-the-ceiling sound, but they don’t play it all the time, because it can be heard from outside the church, across the road, and inside of hotel rooms. Yes. We heard it play all Christmas Eve, just lightly on the air, through a single opened window, but it was audible. Thus, they play an electric organ for carols, so they don’t drown out the singers.

We prefer to be drowned out.

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After Christmas, T. was delighted to find evidence of the Yule Lads! Still no Yule Cat — apparently people are afraid of photographing the beast — but we did find all the elderly looking “lads” at their nasty little tasks in a shop window. The funniest was the ogress Grýla – with a bag of children on her back. Did we mention that in 1746 it became against Icelandic law to terrify children with these tales? Apparently Icelanders started being concerned with their children’s sanity long before it became fashionable to even think they were anything other than small adults.

The Yule lad/ogress mythology discussion brings us to the whole elf thing — or the huldufólk, as the Icelanders call their “hidden folk.” It’s astounding that so many people, when they think of Iceland — even when the talk in the news was about their bank going bankrupt — they must talk about elves. In Vanity Fair there was a huge piece about it, all serious and newsworthy and discussing the economy and mistakes and the downturn of the whole nation, and then, Hahaa, those Icelanders! 80% of them, when polled, said they believed in elves! Hahahaha!

Yeah, well. Whatever. People believe all kinds of things, and probably one of the better American strengths (at least on the West Coast) is that while we might believe all kinds of things, most people are left alone with their beliefs. Everyone we met was perfectly nice and friendly and we were happy not to ask them a thing about elves. Beliefs are personal, no matter how weird they might seem to others.

It was a good trip to a clean, well-organized city with lights everywhere to combat the late-rising (11 a.m.!) sun, and the most wonderful lava springs, hot tubs, steam baths, and swimming pools. That’s reason enough to go right there. Better reasons include nice people and interesting artwork and lots of places to walk and think and explore — read.

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You know your vacation is over when…

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…you drive up to your house and see a fire truck,

…your neighbors are standing around in freezing temps in their shirtsleeves, looking unhappy,

…and, the firemen are turning off the water to the high-pressure fire sprinklers in the ceiling of all the flats.

Welcome home! Your flat has flooded. Again.

This time it’s not our fault – it appears that we should have coordinated being away with the neighbors. We all left for at least three consecutive days. Big mistake. Even leaving a trickle of water running didn’t work – the pipes have frozen, and we all have a room flooded – Lesley’s kitchen lights are out and they’re filled with water, Steven downstairs has water seeping through the ceiling and the sprinklers in his flat burst, and we haven’t heard from upstairs yet.

We have sopping wet bathroom rugs. Oh. And the $@%$*%&!# mushroom is growing under the toilet again in a big nest of mold.

Don’t laugh. (Jama-J, I’m looking at you.) The mushroom is dead, and there will be no pictures. And THIS TIME at least we know that it grew because of water seeping through the sandstone, carrying with it whatever little nasties from outside. It has nothing to do with our housekeeping, or lack of it. …despite what we’re tempted to think as we’re down there sluicing the floor with boiling water and bleach…

::sigh:: Welcome home, indeed. Still, we are grateful to have had a great flight (even with the fifty minute stop in Manchester) and a restful time, and will have energy to deal with this next mess…eh, maybe tomorrow.

Behold, the Yule Cat Cometh…

Jólakötturinn. Loathsome, mangy, evil-eyed feline, she claws to death and eats anyone who doesn’t have a new outfit for Christmas Eve.

(You knew that, right?)

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Hello, and welcome to another edition of My, Christmas Is Very Different In Other Countries.

Here, instead of the mythos of Santa, we have Grýla the hag, owner of said vicious cat, and mother of thirteen indolent and annoying boys known as the Yule Lads who may or may not put a gift in the shoe you leave on the windowsill. One of them may or may not arrive in your home from the 12th of December, in an amusing addition to the Advent calendar, and leave you something. This probably makes kids around here QUITE giddy by the time Christmas actually arrives.

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Because these lads have names like Pot-licker, Bowl-licker and the like, no one normally sees them outside of dark kitchen corners — and of course they’re only there to do mischief anyway. Grýla is there to eat bad children, her cat eats the badly dressed, and the lads pester everyone and leave potatoes in the shoes of bad children (or gifts for the good) every night for twelve nights.

And a nervous Christmas to all.

At least the bad kids still get fed. There’s a lot one can do with a potato.

(Grýla’s husband is unemployed in this scenario, apparently. Maybe he works at Easter.)


We are eating tons of rye bread, and lovely rye crackers for breakfast. Bliss.

…..
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We have discovered that all of the hot water here smells faintly of the rotten egg stench of sulfur. Our hair is …charmingly tousled, shall we say, from the minerals in the shower water. Fortunately, the cold water is stream-filtered and quite tasty. And unscented.

…..

We couldn’t quite figure out the beds at first. T. was pretty sure we were meant to sleep in the uniquely folded flat sheet which enclosed the mattress; D. was sure we were not. Each side of the bed has its own narrow stuffed duvet, which means one can burrow or kick it away at will, without inconveniencing anyone else. A marvelous idea.

…..

In this country, Christmas starts promptly at 6:00 P.M. on the evening of the 24th, when all the bells in the whole country start to ring.

We hate to see what they’ll do for the midnight service…

And to all, a good night.

Church of Christ, NASA

It was actually three degrees COLDER in Glasgow when we left, for those of you who have accused us of being gluttons for punishment. Typically, here isn’t as cold as there, as it gets the temperature off the Atlantic, and Scotland right now is getting it from the Baltic.

The Atlantic has shared a Nor’easter with us, though so we’ve learned the meaning of the word WINDCHILL. It’s not a nice word, but it’s emphatic. It means, “get the heck inside.”

Merry on.

Cookies, Crackers, Cockroaches… and Christmas

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Ho, hum, winter. Even the geese are dragging their feet.

Greetings, this 19°F/-4°C day. The house is awash in books as T. is approaching the end of her reading session for the Cybils awards, our concerts are over for the year and our house is a disaster and our wits are disordered. (Oh, right, you can say “as usual” if you want to, but just know the ice you’re standing on is very, very thin.) Speaking of ice — it is maddening. For now, the snow has covered the worst of the black ice, but cabs still can’t get up our hill, and we’ve taken to getting into our place around the back. D. took a really bad tumble the other day and we believe that he’s cracked a few ribs. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop him from deciding that he wanted to show T. the fountain with all the ice on it on the way to the museum this weekend. Against her better judgment, T. went along, and we crept, slid, and slithered our way to the park.

A trip which should have taken fifteen minutes took us a solid hour. It is NOT the time to go gallivanting about, unless one has a well-padded backside, and/or the wherewithal to land well and laugh. The city is full of the veritable walking wounded; a choir acquaintance had to have a music stand at our last concert because her arm was encased in a temporary cast, and she couldn’t hold her folder or turn pages. One of our acquaintances who is an adjunct professor at the University fell flat on his back crossing the street, and was up and smiling ruefully moments later. Ten days on, however, he’s still feeling twinges, and is cranky at his much-reduced mobility. The clinics are simply looking people over and sending them on (sans painkillers, our choir friend complained), admitting that they are full up with a rash of bonked heads and bruised elbows. We are grateful that D. didn’t hit harder — really grateful. Hot tubs are sounding pretty good about now, we only hope, with the forecast ramping up for ridiculous weather again, that we can make it on our magical mystery tour.

As previously reported, Sunday night was our final concert for the year, and it was an unqualified success, to our surprise. Christmas songs are tricky to do well at any time; the old standards and favorites turn into either a nostalgic mush or the new ones are so jarring as to be unpleasant, and in a concert, there’s the chance that the audience will be bored out of their gourds, or unhappy that classics aren’t being represented. We had a good mix of old and not normally sung and, oddly, movie music, but we belted out Rutter’s arrangement of The Twelve Days of Christmas and the theme song for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace with equal aplomb.

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Baker’s rule: you can eat the ones you have to redo.

The second half of the concert was sheer silliness as the orchestra and chorus donned strobing headgear — Christmas tree hats, fluffy marabou halos, blinky bow ties, strings of garland, reindeer horns, and the works, and encouraged lots of audience participation in caroling, and the uniquely British tradition of pulling crackers. T. felt a tiny bit stupid backstage as she was handed a cracker and two “party poppers.” “Okay, what am I supposed to do with these?” she blankly asked her section leader, who smacked herself in the forehead in apology, and showed T. how they worked. T. waited politely through the explanation — she knew that much; since they’re sold for the 4th of July and New Year’s in the U.S. — but her question was WHY do we have noisemakers, and what are we doing with them in the middle of the concert?! This was never sufficiently answered, so she just popped off her popper when everyone else was making noise, and shrugged.

Sadly, D. had to sit out the second half of the fun, as he almost took a swan dive offstage when his blood pressure bottomed out. As his FIRST fall had only been the previous day, he figured it was the better part of valor to sit down until he could escape.

T. made a rare visit to the kitchen and baked sugar cookies (or butter biscuits, as she heard them called) for her section, waking at six to bake and chill and pipe away. They were accepted with surprise, and though T. is a well-known curmudgeon and Bah Humbug aficionado, her section briefly thought she was of cheerful and sweet disposition. Little do they know.

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Cookie fever.

The cold is bringing out an host of unique creatures… squirrels, which run across frozen ponds, begging, pigeons, which run toward people in the park, again, begging, and the most disgusting, fattest, shiniest, largest palmetto-bug sized COCKROACH we had EVER seen, at the pool. Possibly begging, though it looked to just be kickin’ it poolside.

Months ago, when T. crossed several lanes to escape a floating spider, her friend Val said dryly, “Wait til y’see the roaches.” Neither of us really understood… and now we do. And are properly grossed out.

And on that note…HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ::snicker::

First, Eat Six Oranges…

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Ho, hum: winter.

We’ve had a ragged start to the week.

Back-to-back shows on Sunday reminded us of the many reasons why we were English majors and not musical theater majors (not the least of which it wasn’t offered at our school). We started the week tired, cranky, and sore — five hours on stage, holding a folder full of music in outstretched arms and standing still or sitting still for a long, twelve-hour period in cramped quarters will do that to you.

With the weekend partially lost, the usual housework catch-up from Sunday got pushed into Monday. T. is still trying to come to a natural sounding conclusion to her middle grade novel, instead of just quitting because she’s sick of writing it, but she had to intersperse work with doing the laundry and grousing that one other thing she wished the Pro-Snow Contingent had mentioned was the fact that with snow, a pair of jeans you just put on to cross the street to go to the store returns inevitably filthy on the hem, unless tucked into boots. City snow is filthy — and means more laundry, and much-needed time polishing shoes. (T. also groused quietly about wearing the same pair of black leather insulated boots every day and everywhere, but with these near-freezing temps, it’s just another winter reality.)

D. groused about having to meet with his supervisors, and having to hurry to a deadline for work, with his boss asking for meetings he didn’t have time to attend. Tuesday found us prepping for our last big show on the 20th, plus another event at Kelvingrove on the 19th, and we found ourselves tired and grumpy — and too busy.

Obviously, that meant it was time to start the Christmas baking. And maybe take advantage of the fact that the store is selling tons of salt for very cheap (the ice has persisted, and it’s forecast to give us another eight inches starting tomorrow – oh, joy!) and dye something a bright color. Quickly.

Creativity makes everything better.

T. decided that she was sick of racing around frantically every year in the pre-stollen prep stage, trying to find sulfur-free citrus peel, and that she should make her own. It’s funny – it’s such a simple thing — it’s orange peels, how hard could it be? – but most people only ever buy it. T. did a little research, and came up with a simple recipe. All you need is oranges, two cups of sugar, a cup of water, and some time.

  • First, eat six oranges. Or twelve clementines.
  • Okay, they don’t have to be oranges or clementines. And you don’t have to eat them right away. Just PEEL them, and set roughly four cups of peel aside. You don’t have to worry about the pithy side of the peel, either, although you should remove all the stringy bits. Just peel the fruit, and slice the skin into a size you’d like it to be. We had some dried peels sent from our favorite California citrus tree (thanks, Bean!) and some fresh ones, and simply broke them up and sliced them into a suitable size. In the future, T. thinks instead of slicing the sections crosswise, for short thin pieces, that she’ll slice lengthwise, to make as long of pieces as possible.
  • Next, chuck your peels in a heavy bottomed saucepan or whatever pot you’ve got, cover them with about three inches of nice, cold water, and bring them to a boil. Maintain that boil for forty-five minutes. The thicker the skin of your orange or grapefruit or lemon, the longer this will take. Clementines will become soft and pliable in much less time, of course, having thinner skin. If you’re using multiple citrus types, give the thicker ones a twenty minute head start. Don’t worry. This isn’t the tricky part. Just get them softened.
  • Now, drain the water, and refill the pot, and do it again, this time for twenty minutes. Incidentally, I saved the water from my peels. It smells wonderful, tastes sharply, bitterly orangey, and I’m thinking I might be able to use it as an ingredient in something…
  • As your peels boil for the second time, you can prep your simple syrup. In a heavy, non-reactive pot, put together your two cups of sugar and cup of water. I started out with boiling hot water so that the sugar would dissolve quickly. Set your syrup to simmering and when your twenty minutes are up, remove the peel from the water with a slotted spoon, and stir them into the simple syrup.
  • Candied Orange Peel 1
  • Simmer for an hour and a half to two hours — but stir frequently. That’s the only “tricky” part. Things do stick and scorch in a sugar syrup, and while a little burnt orange is actually quite tasty, these aren’t meant to caramelize, just simmer.
  • With a pair of tongs, allowing the excess syrup to drip back into the pot, remove your peel from the sugar, and lay them on a Silpat sheet, or a cookie sheet. (Many recipes call for tossing the peel in sugar at this stage; we did not — just seemed like waaaaay on the side of overkill.)The best idea is to lay them on a cooling rack, and let the excess moisture fall away. Especially if you plan to pack your peel away for later use, this is a good move. The peel will be ready to store in an airtight container in twenty-four to seventy-two hours. depending on how much moisture is in the air in your neck of the woods.
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    Aaaaand, that’s it.

    Now we have sulfite-free peel for use in stollen, or to dip in chocolate and package up as gifts, or to ::cough:: scarf up by ourselves. Not that that would happen. Unlike with store-bought peel, this will be crisp and citrus-y, but not soft. (Don’t know why store-bought peel is soft. Does anyone?)

    We took the excess sugar syrup, which we caramelized, added a bit of vanilla extract, and bottled it. Can we say “pancake syrup?” Why, yes we can.

    Sometimes, when you’re exhausted and grouchy, it really does help to do one small, sweet thing right.

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“Hark” Really Just Means LISTEN

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December

by Gary Johnson

A little girl is singing for the faithful to come ye
Joyful and triumphant, a song she loves,
And also the partridge in a pear tree
And the golden rings and the turtle doves.
In the dark streets, red lights and green and blue
Where the faithful live, some joyful, some troubled,
Enduring the cold and also the flu,
Taking the garbage out and keeping the sidewalk shoveled.
Not much triumph going on here—and yet
There is much we do not understand.
And my hopes and fears are met
In this small singer holding onto my hand.
Onward we go, faithfully, into the dark
And are there angels singing overhead? Hark.

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The hopes and fears of all the years, in intersection….

Telling Stories in the Dark

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A bit dark for NOON, dontcha think?

In need of a little light in the dark and cold? (This pic was snapped when it was SEVEN DEGREES, which is just a bit MUCH for the wimpy Californians in the room.) Sick of rain, snow, sleet, or gloom of night? (Or, gloom of morning, as the case may be.) Then, you need the December Lights Project. The December Lights project was started by Northern authors living in Wales, Ireland and the great Northern reaches of the UK where it is dark and c-c-cold, and is a bundle of short stories, each one posted a day in December, each with a happy ending.

Happy, lighthearted short stories. That’s the December Light Project.

The stories are FREE (and no donation button even appears on the site), and are written by well-known and highly regarded young adult and children’s authors including Tiffany Trent, Sherwood Smith, Stephanie Burgis, Sarah Prineas, Leah Cypress, Patrick Samphire, Karen Healey, and many more.

Consider it a little Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, Kwaanza gift, and enjoy a little light reading.

On the 8th day of Hanukkah, it was rather quiet…

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Except for occasional crunches of plastic sleds being dragged over snow, and the occasional car creeping up the road. Despite the light overnight snowfall, people have all but given up, and are staying home. They are leaving their cars where they sit, parked haphazardly all around the crescent. The light rail is back, the trains are running – with delays, but moving slowly. The buses out of town are running, but we haven’t seen any inner city buses pass our stop since Monday. And cabs –hah.

D. put on his ice crampons and hiked to the University yesterday, and later we mapped out a strategy to get up the steep hills to Strathclyde Uni where we rehearse — only to be overjoyed that chorus rehearsal has been rescheduled. The 7°-9°F/-12° and -14°C temps we’re having are supposed to break by Thursday, but if they don’t, we will have zero rehearsal time, and we have a performance this weekend! We hope the orchestra and soloists are at least able to rehearse, since they’re the main draw.

When we moved here, we were told a.) that it rarely snowed and b.) that it could get quite cold, but mostly didn’t. Because we are wimpy Californian nutcases, we bought silk long underwear, take-no-prisoners heavy boots, wool socks, balaclavas to wear over our heads and faces, knitting needles and lots and lots of yarn. Guess who is happy to have been a wimpy nutcase. The Canadians are laughing at us — and well they should, because this little snow and ice should not shut down a whole city — but we are, at least, mostly warm. …And thinking we should maybe start knitting some more indoor-woolens, as we have frost on the INSIDE of the bathroom windows and the candles and heater aren’t exactly keeping up with this. Oh, well. This is why we have blankets. And hats. Which we’re wearing indoors…

According to The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner, people living in cold countries are… happier. Weiner attributes this to the “get along or die” school of thought – that interdependence is a necessity to get through something like cold. It’s the idea that we all have to hang together, or we’ll all hang separately.

Maybe after a LOT of snow and cold, we could understand that. But as of now, most people can fall down on the road, and have others perhaps gasp, but not offer a hand up. Smiles are exchanged, with endless eye-rolling facial commentary about the ice, snow, the frozen puddles, etc. — but not much else. Head down, we hurry forward, scarves wrapped around our mouths, just hoping to draw breath without coughing, just wanting to get home.

We shudder to think what would happen if we did have to rely on each other. Hopefully this time we won’t find out…

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The River Kelvin, Freezing. (The park fountain is frozen solid. Should go get a picture. Eventually.)

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Looking up at the University

Stay healthy. Make soup. Keep baking! And stay warm!