{"id":155,"date":"2007-03-05T14:49:00","date_gmt":"2007-03-05T14:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/?p=155"},"modified":"2007-03-05T14:49:00","modified_gmt":"2007-03-05T14:49:00","slug":"opinionated-foodie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/?p=155","title":{"rendered":"Opinionated Foodie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Periodically, I find something so truly cringe-worthy that it’s funny. Here is a screed from one of my favorite Sarcastic Chefs, Anthony Bourdain<\/a>. I used to really dislike Anthony Bourdain. I thought, How can that guy even <\/i>taste anything as much as he smokes? Who is he to set himself up as a foodie?!<\/i><\/p>\n

Well, the trick is, he’s not a foodie<\/i>, he’s a guy that … eats. And reads. And speaks. And thus, has every right to his opinionated, wide-mouthed, long-legged, slouching toward sarcastic-land self. Yes, okay! He kind of grows on you. Like moss. Or mold. Anyway, he guest-blogged awhile back at the site of food writer Michael Ruhlman, and went OFF on the Food Network<\/a>. Hilarious results, one of which was: <\/p>\n

Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can\u2019t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So…what is she selling us? Really? She\u2019s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She\u2019s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that \u201cEven your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!\u201d Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, \u201cHell\u2026I could do that. I ain\u2019t gonna\u2026but I could–if I wanted! Now where\u2019s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?\u201d Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better–teach us–and in fact, did,<\/span> Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. \u201cYou\u2019re doing just fine. You don\u2019t even have to chop an onion–you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing\u2026Just sit there. Have another Triscuit\u2026Sleep\u2026.sleep\u2026.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Another person who believes in St. Julia!!! Bourdain’s blogging garnered almost 600 comments, one of which was a snarky reply from the Food Network itself. Read at your own risk!!!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Actually, I was just thinking about that… do other nations have FoodTV? Okay, I’ve heard there’s one with the BBC<\/a>, and surely the French or Italians have some shrine to all that is organ meats and unpronounceable. But are ANY of those channels round-the-clock? Surely someone else has a channel dedicated to 24-hour food programming? No? Just the country with the heaviest people…? The points made about mediocrity and trying for the lowest common denominator really resonate with me – why go to Farmer’s Market when you can buy something in a can? Why shop for fresh veg in the market, even, when you can buy it prefab? This, dear ones, is from whence the whole spinach-equals-salmonella<\/span> thing comes… when we find ourselves too busy to even wash and cut our own vegetables.<\/p>\n

When your CSA<\/a> gives you carrots… and carrots… and carrots… You become creative really fast. Having less than half a kitchen has meant that we’ve needed to rely on our crock pot and single electric burner on the really bad days when the stove was unplugged in the middle of the floor. In trying desperately to keep up with the flood of cold weather foods, we’ve started just cooking the carrots, pure\u00e9ing them, and using them as soup base. This is a fabulous example of one of our favorite soups:<\/p>\n

\nCarrot Ginger Soup with Coconut Milk<\/b>
\ni n g r e d i e n t s<\/i><\/p>\n