{"id":2270,"date":"2010-07-09T20:06:25","date_gmt":"2010-07-09T19:06:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/?p=2270"},"modified":"2010-07-09T20:06:25","modified_gmt":"2010-07-09T19:06:25","slug":"try-something-new-today-or-maybe-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/?p=2270","title":{"rendered":"Try Something New Today! Or, Maybe Not"},"content":{"rendered":"

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You know, there’s something to be said for plain old original recipes.<\/p>\n

Not the New Coke. Not the chocolate Goldfish. Not the minty Oreos. Not the Pepper Jack Cheeze-Its, the New & Improved Ruffles, not a Lemon-Scented, All-New anything — everything should be the same as what you liked last week. New is not always good, people.<\/p>\n

And lest you think we whine too much, we twice in one week<\/i> have encountered something which is an abomination unto Nuggan<\/a>. We were minding our own business, visiting the Bears’ Playhouse in Virginia, when our friend brought out a tub of guacamole. Because T. is allergic to many preservatives, we did a quick check of the ingredients before digging in. And choked. Guacamole… that contained peas. We thought they only sold that abomination in the UK.<\/p>\n

Oh, HUSH. We do not want to hear about your Weight Watchers diet cookbook. We do not want to hear about how it is lower fat that way, and only adds a bit of bulk, and detracts nothing from the overall awesome that is God’s gift to us, the avocado. GUACAMOLE DOESNOT <\/b> CONTAIN PEAS. Whole Foods, you ought to be ashamed. Yeah, yeah, so it was well-seasoned, but you over-seasoned it, and over-salted it, just to hide your transgressions. Guacamole celebrates the avocado. <\/i> The peas were unnecessary! Why? BECAUSE GUACAMOLE DOES NOT CONTAIN PEAS!<\/i> Nor Double Cream, either, for that matter. (Hello, Sainsbury’s, using saturated fat to replace wonderfully unsaturated fat!<\/b>). What are you people trying to do???<\/i><\/p>\n

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Guacamole has a history<\/i>. The ahuacatl was mashed with molcajetes (basically that nubbly stone mortar and pestle set) and prepared with a bit of sea salt, chilies, and a bit of tomato. The ahuacamolli was served to royalty, back in the 500’s and was a feasting favorite of the Aztecs, when Cortes and his earlier cohorts came to call in the early 1500’s. YOU CAN BET THEY DIDN’T SERVE IT TO Ol’ HERNANDO WITH PEAS.<\/i> (The Spaniards thought avocado was an aphrodisiac and also ate guacamole with sugar<\/i>. Yeah, way to ruin the New World foods, guys. Bleech.<\/i>)<\/p>\n

Guacamole is more than 40% Avocado. Unless you’re 1) trying to cut down on the (good for you) fat in avocados, or 2) trying to be cheap, or, you know, buying the stuff in a jar, in the UK<\/b>, GUACAMOLE DOES NOT CONTAIN PEAS.<\/p>\n

Listen up, Sainsbury’s.<\/i><\/p>\n

Of course, if you’re trying to do some low-fat noshing these hot summer days (excluding the good-for-you fat and substituting it with carbohydrate, which will only make you hungrier), then you could<\/i> try this recipe<\/a>. You’d be sick and wrong, however. And disgusting. You could just, you know, do some peeling and mashing yourself. If you want low-fat in this case, we urge you strongly to consider eating less.<\/p>\n

Because, what SANE<\/b> person puts PEAS<\/b> in their GUACAMOLE<\/b>!?!? Seriously? Who does this? And if you say, “Me,” we have to tell you up front: we might not be able to be friends after this.<\/p>\n

Just sayin’.<\/p>\n

\"Woodlands<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know, there’s something to be said for plain old original recipes. Not the New Coke. Not the chocolate Goldfish. Not the minty Oreos. Not the Pepper Jack Cheeze-Its, the New & Improved Ruffles, not a Lemon-Scented, All-New anything — everything should be the same as what you liked last week. New is not always […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":59,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/59"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2270"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2270\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hobbitsabroad.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}