So, our summer wedding plans – (well, not our wedding plans we fully intend to continue living in sin, thank-you.) (KIDDING.) – are continuing apace, with our friend A. finally getting engaged (at long last) and we’ve been invited to Wedding #4 – a Hindu wedding!
We could say that our experience with Hindu weddings is strictly confined to the wedding in Bend it Like Beckham, but that would be …well, too close to the truth. (Arguably, we could also include Monsoon Wedding in our vast array of experience. Pathetic, no? But, a really good movie.) Two of T’s girlfriends from grad school married in traditional Hindu ceremonies, but she wasn’t able to attend. She did get to see all the lovely henna patterns on their hands, and the yards and acres and metric tons of pictures afterward. And quite a long video. She expects being there in person will be better, but she’s already complaining that, compared with the finery displayed, sequins and gold lace and lovely orange mums, she has nothing to wear, really. (Since she really loathes shopping, this is not likely to change.)
It’s always cheering to see people of various cultures blending their lives and their fortunes and making a go of it in this world, with gorgeous handmade invitations and all. Glasgow doesn’t seem to have as many mixed relationships as we saw in London — it’s more common among the Uni set, as students perhaps don’t have as ossified prejudices as their elders — but this marriage will be especially culturally interesting, since both sides preferred capital ‘T’ tradition — a full Hindu-in-Hindi language service, one hour, a full priestly blessing, thirty minutes, a full vegetarian feast, three hours. Complete with toasts, blessings, and dances.
…And then, the next weekend: Full Scottish wedding – formal family tartan, kilts, pipes, processions, dances, toasts, and a country-club-golf-course reception, with big swoopy hats for the ladies.
T., who has the brief, happy memories of a skateboard park and a Justice of Peace on a Tuesday afternoon, gets hives at the thought of not one, but two wedding weekends in a row. D. knows the groom is already shaking in his Chucks, complaining that he doesn’t like the idea of being the center of attention.
Ah, family. What we won’t do for you even when we don’t want to…
This latest engagement and wedding are especially sweet to T’s American sensibilities, since she’s been reminded to celebrate Loving Day on June 12th this year. For those who don’t know the history, Loving was the last name of a Caucasian American, Richard Loving, who wanted to marry an African American, Mildred Jeter… in 1958. In the state of Virginia. Where it was still illegal. (Yeah. “Virgina is for Lovers” has been the state tourism board motto since 1969. Back then, not so much.) Trying to get around the law, the couple married in Washington, D.C., and returned home — only to be yanked out of their beds in the middle of their wedding night, arrested, tried, and sentenced to three years in prison.
The judge was “merciful” and gave them the option of banishment from Virginia – for twenty-five years. They weighed the option of Richard surviving his jail term and took it, and left their families in Virginia behind to live in Washington. And D.C. was not a model of tolerance, either – they were racially targeted even worse than in Virginia, and without their families to turn to, they were miserable. They had trouble even finding a place to rent. Mildred sent a desperate letter to Robert Kennedy at the American Civil Liberties Union office. The ACLU took the case, and the Lovings took the state of Virginia to court.
It only took nine years, but in 1967 Loving v. The State of Virginia ruled against the last anti-miscegenation law. This was struck down after three months of argument in the Supreme Court, after being denied and dismissed in every other court. We celebrate that June 12th decision on Loving Day, which means that Americans of any culture or ethnicity can intermarry. Scot and South Asian. Romanian and Minnesotan. You and Yours. Someday, everybody who wants to.
Way better than Valentine’s Day, huh?
xoxo,
T&D
What an interesting read and the state of VA. I just can’t relate to people acting this way against others, why do they bother, why should they care who others marry? Must we all be so conforming. I think back I was lucky to grow up in CA.
We were, too!
Lots of wedding celebrations for you guys. Wow!
I didn’t know there was a Loving Day. Pretty cool. Didn’t she recently pass away?
Paz
She did, in 2007. They’re hoping someday it’s an official holiday, but so far it’s just a groundswell of like-minded people celebrating. Which is good enough, really.