For What We Are About To Receive…

Sometimes what you think is The Worst turns out to be …livable.

Thanks for all the nice notes about T’s sister. We were afraid for The Bug – known as Bug, since D. convinced her, when she was about four, that pomegranate seeds were bugs, and she ate them anyway – We were afraid that doing the stupid every-other-day dialysis would make her senior year a drag, that her social life would wither and blow away, that she’d miss out on some ephemeral something found only by being in high school. We thought she would be resentful, sullen, cranky – things we certainly would be. We did not expect the return of flashes of zany exuberance, 8 a.m. phone calls about what ridiculous video she had found on YouTube (“No, WATCH IT!! It’s FUNNY!”) and an amiable acceptance of the hand she’s been played. She feels better, for sure, her gimpy internal organs bolstered by a big, scary looking machine. WE were the ones who were afraid. She’s… seventeen. Hardly young and sweet, but apparently impervious. Unsinkable.

And, really – the whole “senior year” thing is a societal construct, much like the idea that the teen years are the “best years” of one’s life. Who actually believes that? If so, won’t the rest of your life stretch before you like an unpalatable desert road that you simply must travel, until you fall over? What’s the point of that? Better to watch this person living, hoarding the little crumbs of joy into a whole loaf, as she goes on. We got her this “Hello Kidney” shirt to wear to dialysis – might have to get her a few more in various colors. Together with her plush kidney, she is the pinnacle of snarkiness, ready for anything.

Thank God.

Autumn is, and that pumpkin-nut-apple-cranberry thing is happening, and leaves, and sunsets, and America is about to lose its stuff on running around, throwing garlands and gourds on everything, and baking up a storm. We’re right in there, of course, looking anxiously for the first frosty night (way, waaaaay off, if the warm sunny days after the one fluke day of icy rain are any indication), checking for full moons, and looking up every time a ragged line of geese goes honking by in practice formation. Californians, at least, love Autumn, because it tries so hard. In a state largely without seasons (but now, with climate change, we’re getting …something) just the green leaves crisping into brown, even without a major yellow-gold-red color show (Oh, hush, East Coast) is a favorite thing for many.

Thanksgiving is at our house again this year, because we have the most space coupled with the least number of people in residence. We think we’ll be more prepared this year than last – first, we won’t have just moved in (despite what it looks like with the boxes half packed to move, as we were planning a month ago. ::sigh::). We have a heater for the cold basement office/game room, which means we have a place to escape from the Wee let the Wee boys play, and stretch-out space for the interminable games – Six Hour Monopoly (which happens when you play with the very young), very short Scrabble games (where people CHEAT), and possibly this year, league-level (hah) Canasta, which we somehow have to reteach everyone every single year. The social bits all work out – T’s family amuses each other even when it’s not a holiday – but our dinner menu is going to be Something Of A Challenge this time around. Against a holiday menu that traditionally focuses so heavily on that aforementioned autumn baking, we’ll balance:

1. one hardcore vegan
2. one flexible vega
3. six carnivores
4. one flexitarian/pescatarian
5. three vegetarians

– PLUS! – three near diabetics and one kidney failure patient on a modified renal diet which is supposed to include nearly no salt, low protein, no carbonation, and low liquid overall. Not counting food dislikes or allergies – Oh, yes! We also have one gluten sensitive/intolerant – this salt free, sugar free, low carb, meat free, dairy free thing is going to be quite something. If looked at it from the perspective of making one meal with courses, it would be somewhat impossible. Fortunately, this family subscribes to the Are You Kidding, Make It Yourself school of holiday meals.

A few wise hosts are putting their guests on notice about their finicky food preferences this year, but since the “preferences” in our family are more a matter of necessity, we’re going to try and stretch our investigative skills. There has to be something really special we can make for the dialysis diet. We’re already on our way with the vegan desserts – throwing low carb and gluten free into the mix should be easy enough, right? After a few years practice making turkey for Christmas for Everyone, D’s gotten pretty good at it, so the carnivores are easy. Kind of.

Holiday meals are about gratitude – being grateful for the company of friends, the history (if not the present) of our nation, and the presence of family, etc. This year, we’re going to be truly grateful for the food, and that we have the leisure to experiment, that there are always new tastes and techniques to discover, and that we love each other enough to try to make what could be seen as a frustration into something uniquely …us.