Do the lovely people at Apartment Therapy know just how much time they make me waste asking myself pointless rhetorical questions? Questions that start like, “Of course I don’t need these bloody overpriced Italian faucets. Of course not. Does that make them any less cool? Should my bathroom faucets really resemble microscopes? Of course not. Is there extraneous metal used in this design? Of course. Will it make it stupendously more expensive. Of course.”
Sigh
Design websites are EVIL.
It’s kind of like the idea that watching too much TV really screws with your psyche because everyone looks so flawless and airbrushed and pancake made-up and well-lit? Well, I’m of the opinion that there’s a truth close to that regarding the concept of design websites… too many things come together so neatly and nicely that they give you hives when you think about your own place. And don’t get me started on home transformation shows: why can’t I ever find that perfect ticky-tacky chandelier and spray paint it for immediate classy gorgeousness at MY house? Anyone else that tries that stuff, well, it looks… a bit more crafty than artsy, perhaps? Plain tacky? I dunno… Well, I’m about to get my chance to try some ‘junky to funky’ magic … my mother just informed me that she’s doing a big flea market thing on September 3… now let’s see if we can’t LEAVE more stuff there than we take away. Yeah, that would be good…
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
OK, the microscopes? Creepy. Are there like water filters in there or something?
Umm… had we planned on bringing things back from some garage sale? I thought we were getting rid of the things which had been given to us because they were still usable yet should’ve really gone to a garage sale … or the dump.
To me, “funky” is an adjective used to describe armpits and gym bags.
Okay, you are SO voted off the cool island. There’s an entire show on DIY network called “From Junky to Funky.” Where have YOU been!?
And armpits, anyway… never mind.
I’m sorry. You’re right. Armpits? That would be “fonque,” now, wouldn’t it?
I realize that there’s a show … and, frankly, it’s almost (not quite, but almost) as fun as watching that DIY chick with all of the fancy C-clamps and vacuum bags make, like, veneered footstools.
(“Fun,” in this context, can be interpreted to mean something along the lines of “please pull my teeth without drugs now, please, oh please, make it hurt so that my mind will stop dripping down the back of my head from the despair!”)
Okay,Freeform Furniture’s horrifying appeal notwithstanding, I really do like that one show where they just USE YOUR OWN FURNITURE to make your house look better. That’s what we need. We probably already have funky stuff in here, and just don’t know it.
Oh, no. I know that it’s Funky. Believe me. Come on, now, a white pleather couch? We KNOW that’s funky. Of course, it’d be funky like the show would do it if we were to paint it or something….
They ARE microscopes. Specifically, they are fancier versions of the light microscope I used to have as a kid, complete with mass-produced slides of five jillion different types of plant cells. I shudder to think what childhood flashbacks would flow forth from such a faucet.
The memories to flow forth from these faucets … would probably leave iodine stains upon the mind, would inspire you to go perform some “bark tests” upon your nearest clear gas product, and to think about “happy atoms” … or not, you know, depending on whether your Chemistry teacher was as mad as mine.
A.) We are NOT painting the couch.
B.) ELEGANCE. Can I just get some ELEGANCE with the faucets? That’s all I’m sayin’.