Driving By the Blue Box

(This picture is from the FIRST time we set the table. Four more people showed up, which totally threw off settings and the amounts in our nice wee serving bowls — but hey, we put another leaf in the table and refilled the crystal bowls, and had a good time.)

Happy Continuing Holidays, Craftastic Foody Buddies! Hope your celebrations of Yule, Solstice, Eid, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, Festivus, etc. are progressing nicely, and that you’re rolling contentedly toward the New Year.

My sister is 12, and believes the height of culinary genius is mac ‘n’ cheese — in that happy blue box from Kraft. Our mother is vegan, and since she’s the main cook in the house, unless J. buys and makes her pasta herself (or bribes one of three older sisters) she doesn’t often get this treat.

For Christmas dinner, she asked me to make her a Mom-approved mac and cheese — and me without my orange food coloring handy! I knew there had to be something close out there — after all, the big draw to the boxed stuff is that it’s SALTY, not really cheesy, so a vegan version couldn’t be too hard.

Drawing from the incomparably insane Alton Brown as well as from the old-school vegan chef Jo Stepaniak, whose baked vegan mac recipe is practically legendary, we came up with a few slight twists — something close to the boxed stuff, and quite tasty.

A Crafty NonCheese

Tweaked from: The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook

• 2 1/2 cups dry pasta rings (Kraft makes one whole wheat — who knew?)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/3 cup flour (any kind; your choice)
• 1 tbsp. dry mustard
• 2 tsp. onion powder
• 1/2 tsp. paprika
• 1/4 tsp. turmeric — optional, for color
• 1 tsp. of cayenne or 2 tsp. Louisiana hot sauce, depending on eaters
• 1 3/4 cups UNSWEETENED nondairy milk or water, if you prefer (experiment with almond or rice; soy can be too sweet)
• 1/2 cup sweet/mild onion, finely diced – optional
• 1/2 cup nutritional yeast flakes
• Salt and white pepper to taste — and please DO taste it

1. First, you need to boil your pasta — and you already know how to do that, yes? Because this is not going to be baked, however al dente you prefer the pasta will be how it’s served, so cook it how you like it. To keep it separated and prep it for sauce, you can add a tablespoon of margarine when it’s hot and freshly drained.
2. Next, you need to make a roux. Grab a heavy-bottomed saucepan, add your oil, and put the pan over medium flame. Before the oil gets hot, dump your flour, mustard and onion powder, paprika, turmeric and cayenne into the pan.(NOTE: If you’re going to add onions, add them immediately after you add the oil, and let them sweat over low heat until they’re translucent. You want them to be finely chopped and unobtrusive to the texture of your pasta and sauce! Only if all your eaters are confirmed onion-lovers should you do this — otherwise go stealth and add the onion powder.)
3. Let the flour mixture brown for approx. three minutes, and then, whisking constantly with a fork, add your yeast flakes, and then, about a quarter cup at a time, add your milk. Pretend you’re making gravy, and keep that fork moving. Obviously you don’t want lumps. The Rule du Roux is don’t use a high flame — medium/low is your friend.
4. This sauce mixture should cook down for about ten minutes — keep your flame low! — and be ready to be poured onto your pasta. Taste it first before you add to the pasta, and tweak the salt/pepper content. Begin with a teaspoon of salt and go from there. Especially if you’re using whole wheat, avoid over-stirring the pasta and sauce mixture together, as you need it to stay creamy and saucy, not sticky and starchy. Serve hot, with a few grinds of fresh pepper or chiffonaded marjoram or thyme.

Mom and I stuck fairly closely to the recipe the first time through, but immediately afterward, my mind was buzzing with inspiration as to how I could add to this — and make it better. Thin slices of onion. Garlic powder. Smoked yeast. Peas and chopped spicy sausage. And why not bake it? A quick cup of whole wheat panko breadcrumbs, sautéed with margarine to seal in the crunch, nicely tops this pasta, and baked for fifteen minutes makes a nice side dish. There’s tons of stuff to try, if you’re in the mood.

All that matters to me, of course, is that my sister likes it.

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