Probably the most scream-inducing thing about the weather here in the Isle of Gaels isn’t the rain — the rapidly changing skyscapes are actually very beautiful, as is the play of light and shadow created by the high atmospheric winds that knock the clouds around — and it isn’t the poorly kept roads and rutted, puddled cobblestones, though those are a pain sometimes. What’s scream inducing is how the people respond to the weather — as if we’re crazy. Crazy for noticing it, that is. See, people here in Glasgow are too tough for coats. They’re too tough for umbrellas, most times they’re too tough for hats, especially hats with brims. They scuttle around from building to building, or, heads bent, trudge through with icy sleet skidding down the backs of their necks. They often don’t even hold up a newspaper above them — they just carry on and SUFFER.
We have come to the country of martyrs.
This weekend we saw whole families — Mum, Dad, kids — with coats on — open to the elements, hooded coats, too, mind — and not one hood was up, nor one zip zippered. The little girl wore ballerina pumps, no socks, and three quarter-length pants. It may be that this city is a series of small towns, and people assume they’re “only going to Anderston,” so there’s no need for all of that weather dressing, but it’s ridiculous out, and they’re so under-dressed! But do they care? No.
Apparently, part of living in Glasgow is declaring war on the weather.
Every once in awhile we come across yet another bit of the urban landscape that leaves us gobsmacked. This little bit of uniqueness T. discovered in the Glasgow Student University Union, in the ladies’ room, to be precise.
She had to stand and gawk at it for a moment or two before she could figure it out. “High temperatures ensure plates remain sterile” the sign below it said. She stared at it blankly. Sterile hair? She kept reading. Deposit £1. Well, there are things in the ladies where you put in money, but… The Beautiful Vending Company?
When she finally put together that it was a coin-op flatiron, she wasn’t sure whether to be grossed out or inspired. True, she’s given up on having her hair look like anything, as winter in the UK seems bent on providing instances where perspiration, precipitation and condensation, not to mention gale force winds and unlined woolen hats destroy anything remotely resembling stylish locks. But to share… a flatiron or curling iron… with the world?
The high heat is supposed to create the ideally sterilized surface, but she shudders at the idea of everyone else’s crisped hair products (and perspiration and dandruff) mixing with hers. What might be more helpful is if all ladies’ rooms came equipped with blow dryers…
We’ve been pondering style since we’ve arrived, because … well, Glasgow’s city slogan is Scotland, With Style, and apparently ‘style’ is a concept more blatant, out there, and just plain garish in this fine university city. As is his usual wont, when T. makes her sociologist-style observations on the populace, D. has arrived at a theory to express her rather random meanderings.
THEORY: the “noisier” the population, the “louder” the signals need to be in order to get the point across. The signals, in this case, would be ones of availability: micro minis, deep vee tops, all screaming out, “I’m not married!” The female populace has to scream, we’ve decided (and dust itself with glitter, perhaps?), because there are so many other things in a city to attract one’s attention.
To put this in engineering-speak (because everything is better when you do, right?): the signal to noise ratio is probably the same as in other environments, but the carrier wave has a greater amplitude, so the individual variations are stronger. We perceive the individual signals as being stronger, but they are not, relative to their base signal. So, if you look at the illustration, you’ll see two carrier waves, along with a representation of what happens when you encode information into those waves. The red wave is 2x the amplitude of the blue wave. The bottom illustration (with the signal encoded) shows how a series is encoded, and also shows you a little bit of “noise” on that – the irregularity of the encoding, where some of the curves actually drop out of the range that’s expected. The overall encoding, though, is relatively free of noise, and can be interpreted.
In looking at the um… blatant, unsubtle nature of the outfits here in Glasgow, we’re thinking that the “background noise” is high, so we’ve come up with the thesis that “availability signaling is necessarily more blatant in urban settings; this is attributable to the amount of ‘noise’ present in the environment, and the signals are thus necessarily made ‘louder’ to compensate for ‘background noise.'”
See what a good education gives you? The ability to be utterly baffling — with charts. Those of you going to San Francisco or L.A. in the near future — test this one out. People in cities invariably are on the forward leading edge of fashion; all the big houses are in huge population centers. No wonder the average person has no interest in wearing Paris, Milan and New York high fashion. It’s just too quiet in their little neighborhoods.
Pondering the Urban Populace,
– D & T
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Right so, personal experience would say that even though I carry an umbrella (living in a rainy city as well), I rarely bother to put it up as the wind (living on an island as well) will destroy it in moments. I rather like my umbrellas and perhaps carry them more as a security blanket than a tool to keep off the rain. Besides, having to play dodge ’em with the other pedestrians is a bore. So, no umbrella, plain and simple.
Also living in a Gaelic country, I have found that young women, most of whom have naturally curly hair, pay darn good money to have their hair straightened on a regular basis in the salon, so it’s not surprising to me that they make it as convenient as possible, especially in a university city.
As for fashion? Well, European styles are just different than North American ones. Perhaps a bit on the trashier side, but frankly there’s not much else in the shops. Imagine being a 40 something trying to shop! Ack! Don’t know who designs ’em but it’s a land without LL Bean or Eddie Bauer.
Okay, not as deep and philosophical as th charts, but hey, I’m no engineer, right?
a simple yarn
Did I NEED to see another bloody chart on amplitude???? (and does this mean I don’t get to wear glitter when I visit?)
In Seattle, women dry their hair under the hand dryers in the ferry bathrooms….not sure why because as soon as one debarks, the hair is wet again. But a bit more sterile than sharing things that actually touch the hair.
C — Have to admit that we left our umbrella in the garage in California… because you’re right, on the sidewalks dodging other pedestrians, an umbrella is just a royal pain in the tush. And I, too, am “blessed” with curls that yield only to heated metal for temporary truce, but it still baffles me to find a coin-op machine. No offense intended to the people who think it’s a great idea — I’m still just not sure I trust the idea of ‘sterile.’
And the shopping: agreed — is grim. If you don’t want to be on heels and in a suit, the other options are a bit flashier/trashier. I will make the clothes I brought last as long as possible!!
L – 🙂 The amplitude chart is so that you can’t say they’re like algebra and never used in your actual life…
SO ROFLMAO ha ha ha…..
It never ceases to amaze me, this attitude to the weather – I was FOREVER asking parent to bring their kids to nursery appopriately attired FOR THE WEATHER – you know, sun hat, long sleeved tops, SUNSCREEN in the summer, wet-weather gear at this time of the year – honestly, they all thought I was a major pain in the ass, could not understand it is all about caring for their kids .
And as for ‘fashion’….
India
Is the blatant exposure ( I suppose I should say in the style portion of your entry) everywhere, or mostly on the university? What age level? I’m just asking because of working at a college, admittedly an art college where the students are a little freer at expressing themselves, I notice a fair amount of clevage and tight clothes. I have also noticed the same (in the summer) in a great deal of the population under the age of, say thirty.
And even here, I have seen idiots in -15 C weather with their jackets unzipped.
Actually, the ‘style’ seems to be spread across a very broad age range, and to extend right across the city & into the countryside. True, we’ve mostly been around college communities, so this could account for some of it … but it certainly doesn’t account for the age spread, as many of those we’ve seen have been quite a ways out of college / university age.
The most prevalent female outfit in this country is short skirt / tights / boots. The boots seem evenly divided between Ugs and others.
Next most prevalent is short skirt / tights / ballet slipper type flats. The flats tend to be run down and very thin.
Next up is the ‘boy’ style, so called because it’s what the majority of males wear, and can be found upon females as well. This includes jeans long enough to touch the ground, which have then been worn off by having been trodden upon. Top will usually be a t-shirt of some sort, perhaps a sweater, but the t-shirt should be too small, and generally only just meet the waistband of the jeans. Add to this a knit cap, maybe a scarf, but definitely never gloves.
One other variant of male fashion is one which apparently seeks to mimic the girls, in that it includes skin-tight, taper-legged, stretch jeans. This is quite rare, usually to be seen on skaters, but also found amongst the “emo” boys. It might mimic, in some manner, the jodhpurs occasionally seen on particularly horse-crazy girls here (seen maybe three times).
Lastly in the female category is the long jacket / tights / boots … sans skirt. This variant has only recently begun appearing, as it’s finally cool enough for the locals to break down & wear coats – but apparently a miniskirt would make them too warm, in this particular case.
I have wished for a complicated counting device, so that I could tally up the categories of outfit, to take a true survey. Shows you how out of place I feel, and how subtly odd these fashions are, doesn’t it?
Well, there are FIVE universities in Glasgow — so I’d like to say that the clothing is all the fault of the twentysomethings… but… it’s… not. It may just be that we’re suburbanites and the urban dress code wasn’t a memo we got, but even women in their fourties seem to go the way of pancake makeup, teased peroxided hair and really short shirts, sky-high heels and exposed cleavage. Part of that is what’s available — did a little shopping AFTER this was posted, and even Marks & Spencer — fairly conservative — has limited options unless you really look. I think it’s also the fact that we’re near a holiday — ‘sexy’ is another word for ‘festive’ apparently.
It’s just very… surprising. If I wasn’t so cold, maybe I’d fancy a skirt four inches above my knees, too — but, maybe not.
Hee Hee Hee! You’ve not been to Newcastle yet in the middle of winter.
No-One wears a jacket even in sub-zero temperatures – many of the young men stick their cigarette packets up the short sleeves of their t-shirts!
I believe some visitor to Glasgow in the 18th century mentioned the “brazen-ness of the women who were washing clothes in Glasgow Green!”
Glasgows not so much Scotland with style as Scotland pushing fashions boundaries!
I’m just wondering if you’ve come across that section of the community called – West End Ladies??
How would one identify a “West End Lady?” We’re in the west end – about 3/4 of a mile from Glasgow Uni – so it’s entirely possible. 🙂
Don’t get me started on the trodden-on-jean-hem subject. Both of my kids insist upon this and then wonder why the cuffs of their trousers soon wear out. I refuse to hem up jeans worn in this fashion, and just laugh when the kids complain to their friends that I won’t sew their clothes.
And catch me ever going around with my coat unzipped! This drives me half insane. My kids picked this up straight away and took it even further than their friends did. The first time we went to the church to watch their annual Christmas concert, my two were almost the only ones in the huge, stone-cold cathedral with bare arms and legs. I felt sick just watching them, and after the third person mentioned it to me, I gave her a brief description of the knock-down-drag-out quarrel I’d had with both kids over whether they took coats with them or not. They took the coats eventually, they just didn’t wear them — clever girls.
As for the hair iron rental, what a lot of trouble people go to just to waste the earth’s resources. Whenever I’m dumb enough to let the kids iron my hair, two minutes outside send it straight back to its natural state. Now I just save myself the time and trouble. Life’s too short — and pretty soon my hair will be as well!
You're missing the point – us Scots aren't crazy or unfashionable. We're just hard! Freezing to you is simply cool to us.