Retail Insanity: Catching

It’s craziness, but you kind of have to admit that at some point, you KNEW it was going to happen…

See, it’s like this: just having the idea of a book contract — idea only, since the bloody thing will take between 5 – 8 weeks to get here (on the backs of flea-ridden camels, apparently), and first half of the advance money, sans the agent’s cut, apparently, will take even longer (since she has the bad-timing to get married this month – oy vey, not another one!) — gives you the feeling that immediately, if not sooner, you should just jump into all of the House Projects you’ve been putting off until you Had Money.

Never mind that you still don’t actually have cash in hand, just the promises of various people practically a continent away are enough to send you off into nonsense. To that end, today I got my floor samples. I haven’t opened them yet, but I am gleefully waiting for the opinions of Very Random People I catch and pester within the next few days to give me their input. Should you drop by this weekend, my question to you will be “Light or dark? Vertical, or horizontal? Or cork? Paper or Plastic?

And then, next Sunday I look forward to going over these questions with a Phil the Contractor. Already it bodes… amusing to work with him; he cannot for the life of him remember my name (nor my Senior Sibling’s name, and she lives next door to him and has since April), so he calls me …Sweetie. (He calls Senior Sibling “Girlie,” which is just no improvement.) Now, only ONCE in my life have I let someone get away with calling me ‘sweetie’ and it was because it was a boss of mine, and he was a minister, and some of those guys just can’t disconnect from the paternalistic thing in moments of stress. I let him do it once, mind you. Once. So… not sure how I’ll ultimately handle Contractor Phil. I shall feel like either a toothless grannie or a sticky three-year-old throughout my entire remodel. Oh, bliss.

But seriously – with the prospect of floors that pretty, can much honestly bother me for long?

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