Last week, we were tagged for a blog meme. We don’t generally do memes, since this blog is a virtual letter home to family and friends in the U.S., but this meme is very thought-provoking, and in line with a conversation we’ve been having off and on for the past week.
We’ve changed.
Meeting friends we haven’t seen in awhile (we hadn’t seen N&K for at least a year before leaving home — despite [SHAME!] living less than forty minutes apart) reminds us of old times, and also reminds us of what is no longer the same. K. and T. talked of it a little. Since leaving the U.S., T&D are better friends now — though to those who knew us at home, it may not seem possible. We have learned to ignore each other in some ways, so that those who feared we’d go insane living in each other’s pockets in this tiny flat — it hasn’t happened (though it has not yet been proven that we were ever sane). D., who once loved to drive for the heck of it, can’t bring himself to get behind the wheel, while T., who previously forced herself to be everyone’s Girl Friday, is more and more letting that person go. As people brought up in a suburban environment, we’ve learned to adjust our vast sphere of personal space, and not to react with mild panic when someone else sits in the cluster of chairs closest to us at the coffee shop — because people do that here.
Finding six words to label ourselves helped us to see concretely what we’ve changed and where we’ve stayed the same. So, thanks, Holler, for your challenging little meme. We can’t just put all six words (times two) in a single list; linguists MUST explain things in great detail after all, but we’ll try to keep it brief!
D’s Six Words
- Introspective ~thinking about myself more, just being away from expectations allows me to look at myself and say, What do *I* expect of myself? Where do *I* want to go with things?
- Dependent ~I’m dependent on infrastructure; on train/bus schedules and on train and bus drivers as well. It limits the world if I can’t get there on a bus or on train or on foot — I have to think about the limit of things and places I can go for free. It changes one’s perception.
- Relaxed ~not that I wasn’t before, but there’s just — less to worry about. No — maybe there’s less I can control so it makes less sense to worry.
- Contemplative ~not that I didn’t analyze everything before, but philosophy gives you another method. I think about why people in the UK don’t understand Americans, and vice versa, – I think about the differences — even our map skills are different, the relative sizes of our countries produce a different mindset.
- Circumspect ~I’m more considerate of how what I say may affect feelings. Because I’m having to relate to people who are trying to formulate difficult thoughts, I’m realizing that not everyone thinks at the same pace. I’m realizing that sometimes people just don’t get it — or me. In the U.S., the vocabulary I use is the one everyone uses, but here I can say things and people just don’t comprehend, because no one uses language in the same way. I’ve had to be more careful about what I say; things can get taken the wrong way. Easily. Also, I realize that sometimes people just listen to my accent and smile — and they don’t hear a word. I am more careful to be sure that I’m understood — that my meaning comes across.
- Observant ~since having my camera, I look and actually see. I realize that I now have… hundreds of pictures of flowers. This is because I’m on foot and not the one driving… and I realize I’m not interested in control at the cost of being able to observe, to look at things.
T’s Six Words
- Obsessive ~Anyone who’s had the misfortune to be at the receiving end of one of my sociological treatises about the human race knows I observe people and situations and theories and analyze them to death. It’s not improved since moving here; I find that I go over and over any interaction I have with anyone and analyze each smile or frown and pick it to bits. God is in the details, right? Or not…
- Creative ~maybe hyper-focused is the right word, but my self-imposed isolation has meant I’ve gotten a lot of work done here, and I’ve found myself waking up at night thinking of novel plots, fabric I want to paint, dishes to concoct, pictures to draw… kind of fun, but kind of disturbing.
- Realistic ~those who don’t know me well will sometimes mistake that for ‘pessimistic.’ *cough*
- Introverted ~there are some who would suffer being alone so much, and many people have asked what I do all day, by myself. The Desiderata says “remember what peace there may be in silence.” For some, aloneness is restful, even when you love people and their company.
- Centered ~self-centered has negative connotations, but when you stop working on projects for other people’s applause, whose do you have to work on? Your own. And maybe God’s. The people-pleasing disease still lurks, but here, with fewer people I have to care about, it’s fading.
- Curious ~um, the word we’re looking for may be “nosy,” because I find myself wanting to pick up the people I’ve met here and shake them upside down until all of their lose pocket change and random details fall out. I’m insatiably curious about how people’s lives and traditions differ from my own. It worries people. Which is amusing.
- Snarky ~but you already knew that (she said sarcastically).
(“That’s not six things! Can’t you count?” The List demanded. “It’s a joke,” T. sighed.)
You may disagree completely with these six word memoirs — you’re welcome to start your own list for us, or consider yourself in six words. This was — exhausting, and really, doesn’t begin to reflect us in sum, but really, six words? Only six words?! Was it ever going to be enough? Probably not. But we had fun trying!
The wind is whistling and the clouds are playing a swift fleeting game of hide-and-seek with the sun. As the weather dries out a bit, we’re looking forward to more castles and travels in our immediate future, so there will be more pictures to see, more monuments to erect, more milestones to pass and more stories to tell — in more than six words, of course.
Happy Weekend to you.
– D & T
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How do you sum up a life in only six words? Think you both have accurate lists.
Well done for that! And thanks for joining in. I think your lists were much more considered than mine. Which was more of a ‘the words that come to mind first are probably the true descriptors’!