Insanity: Not Just Inhereited Anymore

When states and countries start to act a bit loopy, one can’t blame the insanity on anything its parent states have done. Unfortunately.

The AP ran a story about a church in North Carolina who is busy preparing for Halloween — and their book burning. Instead of the usual rant against Harry Potter and the tiresome Twilight series, this church is adding books by Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, and all versions of the Bible other than the King James’ to the flames. There’s no other phrase for it but, their insanity boggles the mind.

Americans are tutting this morning (and it’s already making the email circuit) about the Virginia man who was standing in his wherewithal, making coffee in his own kitchen and has subsequently been arrested for indecent exposure. We can imagine the response from those acquaintances we have here who hold Opinions about people who live in the States. Americans, a Glasgow acquaintance (originally from Spain) once assured us, are usually all religious prudes. “Americans have no sense of irony,” we read in a newspaper article.

With those clear hints on our national identity in mind, we will say that the case in Virginia is currently murky, and since we can’t find anything about it online other than on Fox, we’re not linking to it. It will be interesting to see how this all pans out. A dangerous nutter, plotting how best to expose himself to elementary children and soccer moms in the Virginia suburbs, or an innocent man making coffee? Are Americans insane? If they are, the UK certainly can’t sneer. Our insanity appears to be catching.

At the end of last year we told you about the Identity Cards foreigners to the UK were required to carry. At around the same time, the Home Secretary (kind of like the head of the Secretary of State? Or the State Department, perhaps) decided that all UK citizens needed to carry a citizenship card, which raised a great hue and cry. The Scottish Parliament said a great big THINK AGAIN to the whole idea of anyone being required to carry identification. (Those two words are actually in the Scottish National Anthem, much to our amusement. “And stood against him, Proud Edward’s army,/ And sent him homeward/Tae think again.”) The British government recanted the compulsory stance on citizen identification, but the damage was done.

On one hand, this seems like no big deal — to Americans. We carry our driver’s licenses or some form of identification on our person all the time. We’re used to getting carded for alcohol and model glue and spray paint and things from the craft store — and I’m sure people have to show some kind of proof of age and mental acuity before being allowed to buy a gun (debatable, but let’s not go there). It’s bewildering or off-putting for a moment, to be asked for I.D., but we’re used to it. We know there’s a reason. We go on. Imagine the citizens of the UK, who have never even been required to carry their driver’s license when operating their cars — looking at the idea of carrying a citizenship card.

Then, the Challenge 25 plan started. As of May of this year, people in Britain have had to show I.D. in order to buy alcohol. Prior to this, only people under twenty-one had to do so. (Yeah. Under twenty-one.) Now, everyone has to show proof of being over twenty-five. And not only for alcohol. For knives, video games, cars, solvents and certain glues — the list goes on. Again the problem is that many people feel resentful that their freedom is being hampered. This is all new territory for them.

The worst of it is that no one can figure out how to proceed. It has been left to retailers of potentially questionable products to interpret and fulfill the law on their own. The result? Insanity. A fourteen year old boy was prevented from carrying groceries to his mother’s car, because a bottle of wine was visible from the top of a bag. (The store issued an apology to the irritated mother and son.) A fifty+ Mom was refused wine at a grocery store, because she had her daughter and niece with her. She questioned. She argued. She begged. She saw the store manager, and nada. The store stands behind the checker’s decision, and the woman is incensed. She is well over twenty-five — but since she didn’t have I.D. to show, there was nothing that could be done. Apparently this type of thing is happening all over.

And yesterday — this is a beaut — yesterday, our friend E.E. reported that all the knitting needles at Dunelm Mill (a home store in her corner of the world in Perth) were plastered with the Challenge 25 stickers.

Yep. Knitting needles. Not for any of those headstrong, homicidal, low-impulse control, under twenty-five year old knitters.

E’s daughter is only, sadly, twelve. She wanted to learn to use the 8 mm variety, which are almost as thick as E.E.’s pinky finger. E.E. bought them for her daughter, probably disappointed that no one asked who they were for. I’m sure she was just waiting to give someone a piece of her mind.

Did you know in the UK there’s a regulatory group that controls performances? And they threatened to fine a woman for singing when she was stocking the shelves at work — because she didn’t have a license? Did you know that in Colorado some parents were so desperate to have their fifteen minutes of fame that they called in a fake UFO sighting and then implied that their child had been swept up by a weather balloon?

Is America insane? Is the United Kingdom? Probably. But it’s a shared condition.

– D & T

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